An Auspicious Acquisition - Or How Getting Knocked Up Saved the World
by MindForgedMan
Summary: Tsunade Senju. A true heir of her grandfather's power. Strong-willed, beauty unmatched, embittered by a harsh reality. But when Kushina offers a way to make her own happiness, & sweetens it with the ever-tempting wager, can the two mothers safely steer their sons through the wild & perilous trials of being ninja, fighting demons & a war with a distant continent? ...Don't bet on it.


**(A/N):** This is story I've had in mind awhile, I wish I had started it sooner. Just stick with it a bit. Some things might seem implausible at first but if you wait a little I think I can make it more believable (or at least funny enough to make you laugh about it). Anyhow, that's enough of that, on to the story!

* * *

As the buxom blonde watched the gates of her home village grow closer as she walked towards the entrance, the uneasiness that had been her other companion as of late reared its ugly head. Two weeks earlier, an ANBU from Konoha had appeared before her and her apprentice, Shizune Kato. Though surprised, Tsunade had initially planned on ignoring the unwanted visitor; she'd all but cut ties with her village when she was allowed to leave the shinobi forces. It had taken too much from her. Some undoubtedly thought it cowardice or some other weakness, she called it being human.

The ANBU had apparently been briefed regarding that possibility and so had gotten straight to the point about why they had come.

"The Shinobi Council has come to a decision regarding your status as a member of the Leaf's Shinobi Corps, your mentorship of Shizune Kato, the ownership of the Senju Compound and the matter regarding the property left to you by the late Dan Kato. The Council have demanded you return to the village within three weeks lest they settle matters in your stead." The written summons she was handed bore the Fourth Hokage's seal, confirming its legitimacy.

Needless to say, Tsunade had been incensed. But as the ANBU had promptly used the Body Flicker Technique to get away at super speed, she had vent at the brick wall beside her. Having known her since a young age, Shizune didn't comment about the rubble that remained and attempted to calm her down. The booze helped.

She had briefly hoped it to have been a dream, but for all the luck she had - which is to say, none whatsoever - it was the cold, hard reality. She cursed endlessly - the Council for being self-serving bureaucratic pricks, Minato for lacking the spine to stand up to them, Jiraiya for the hell of it - before eventually accepting it a few days after reaching the Land of Fire. It was, fittingly, much warmer than the Land of Snow had been though that did little to thaw her frosty demeanor.

The Chunin guards had been stunned to see her when she presented her identification at the entrance to the village. When their eyes strayed south towards her ample breasts, she crushed a rock to dust with her bare hands to remind them not to piss her off. Their clenched jaws proved she still had it. Contrary to the wild speculation of perverts everywhere, she showed her breasts off not simply because she was proud of them (her great-aunt always said to 'flaunt what they want') but because they served a valid strategic purpose. Even a second's distraction noticing them gave someone of Tsunade's skill a near guaranteed victory. It was a legitimate strategy!

She almost felt nostalgic coming back to the village. Minato's face had just begun construction when she had last visited at the start of his term as the Fourth Hokage at a spry twenty-one years old. If Shizune hadn't reached the requirements to become a Tokubetsu Jonin specializing in Medical Ninjutsu, Tsunade likely wouldn't have bothered to briefly visit two years back. The village seemed to be prospering well enough - there were a few shops she didn't recognize (including a new bar she'd likely visit that night) and there was a general upbeat spirit among the people walking the streets at midday.

As she entered the council room at the Hokage Tower, she steeled her nerves. Her irritation at her abrupt summons was apparent. Among the myriad facets of herself that were legendary the world over, her quick temper easily made the top five (coming in third, behind her beauty and terrible luck at gambling).

The room was filled with the top players from around the Leaf Village's notable ninja clans and military divisions. Minato's presence was a given, seated at the center of the large semicircular table in the Hokage garb. He kept his composure better than most would think any other twenty-four year old would be capable of, not showing any unease among the many older and more politically experienced occupants of the table. Three of the village elders were present, most annoyingly Danzo who she suspected orchestrated this affair if his subtly smirking mouth were any indication. The various clan leaders were all present, from Kurama and Nara clans to the Hyūga and Uchiha. Surprisingly, however, her kinsmen among the Uzumaki had been given a seat nearer the edge of the table, occupied by none of than the Hokage's wife, Kushina Uzumaki.

Kushina was Tsunade's last real family as far as she knew, her second-cousin in fact. While they weren't as close as they might have been due to their ten-year age gap, they still wrote each other frequently. Familial bonds aside, they had similar early life experiences and were so alike in their personalities to make mutual respect a given. She too looked nervous about the foregoing proceedings.

"Tsunade Senju," Minato began in a loud voice, "The Shinobi Council has gathered to make a decision on the matters of which you were informed two weeks ago. Do you understand what we shall be doing?"

Tsunade snorted. "What I understand is you worded that document with enough legalese to make it unclear what exactly this was about, that way I wouldn't show up pissed off. Get on with it. There's not much more this village can leech from me."

There's was much outcry at her words from the various clan leaders.

"You see?" called out the head of the Kurama clan. "She is no longer a true Konoha-nin. This is as good as settled. I say we proceed without her presence or input." A few of the other heads seemed inclined to agree, a fact Danzo took advantage of.

"Much like Kurama-sama suggests, surely this is proof enough that Tsunade does not deserve a chance to do her duty to the village, Hokage-sama? The laws are clear in this matter. Sad as it may be, the Senju are no longer a real presence in Konoha. She, the heiress to that once great clan, has long since abdicated her responsibilities as a clan head."

A large vein become visible on Tsunade's forehead. "Just what the hell are you suggesting?" she all but shouted at them.

Danzo looked at her fearlessly, and replied, "As per the Clan Reclamation Act instituted by your own sensei, many of us feel it is time the government reclaim the Senju Compound and its cache of ninjutsu scrolls, as well as the documents and jutsu the late Dan Kato left to you in his will."

Tsunade was breathing heavily at what she was hearing. They couldn't even leave her what little she had of Dan, nor even of her own family.

"Why now?" Tsunade asked angrily. "There's no ongoing wars. You want the old compound? Fine, but you don't need Dan's belongings."

The Hyūga clan head, Hiashi, said, "While you may not see the danger signs for wars and possible conflicts, we cannot sit idly by and let our enemies catch us unawares like those invaders from that Western continent did at the end of the Third Great War. Even nominal allies must be account for, especially that Land of Sun."

Fugaku Uchiha, man whose ambition in the matter was nakedly obvious, jumped in, saying, "The Senju have many techniques to aid us in future conflicts, and Kato-san had a small array of unique jutsu that could prove indispensable in many scenarios. And as you aren't likely to pass on your Wood Release Kekkei Genkai, we will have to make do with the more general techniques of your people." The gleam in his life eyes pissed Tsunade off.

Danzo once more spoke up. "Hokage-sama, I vote we immediately act in accordance with the Clan Reclamation Act. As Tsunade has not produced an heir to the clan by an individual accepted by this council, nor has she even remained an active member of the ninja corps, she has no claim to retaining property that can and ought to be put to use bettering our military and making room to expand the village. Likewise, allowing her to retain a skilled shinobi as her mere personal assistant is an indisputable waste of resources and talent."

When Minato didn't immediately respond, Tsunade said viciously, "Well? Aren't you going to say anything? Or are you as indecisive as I remember?" Tsunade knew she wasn't helping her case, but she couldn't resist speaking out at what she was hearing. That her not becoming a veritable baby factory to pump out Senjus was a contributing factor to losing what little she had left was pissing her off more than she had been in years.

"Elder Danzo, don't be so hasty. I did not agree to call Lady Tsunade back to the village to disgrace her as you are transparently attempting to do," Minato said. There was an unmistakable giggle from Kushina, who blushed as several faces eyed her.

"While it's true that the Clan Reclamation Act is well established shinobi law in the Land of Fire, it's equally true that the _Recovery_ Provision of that law allows the clan head a 'reasonable period of time with which to produce, or provably attempt to produce, a suitable heir to an at-risk clan'. Generally, that period has been established by precedent to be two years."

Danzo's composed expression broke for a moment before he schooled his features once again. "Be that as it may Hokage-sama, as you note, the heir must be 'suitable', that is, approved by this council given only one Senju remains in the world. I ask you all, do any of you believe it likely that Tsunade can find such a candidate, much less possess the desire to do so?"

The argument appeared to compel about half of the few dozen clans present. However, it was clear few would truly assent to allowing Danzo to bully this proceeding to his preferred conclusion. The precedent that would set could come back to hurt their own clans should something devastate them.

"It's not about what we believe is likely, Elder Danzo," Kushina said. "The law must be followed. Or are we to apply it only as you find appeal to your goals?"

Danzo glared at the Uzumaki clan head before saying, "As you say, the law is to be followed."

Minato smirked slightly as no one bothered requesting the matter to be settled by after vote. "Tsunade Senju is to have two year's time to, er, come into compliance with the Clan Recovery Act. Otherwise the ownership of the remaining Senju property the personal affairs of the deceased Dan Kato will pass into the hands of the village administration, while Shizune Kato will rejoin the standard ninja forces. Meeting adjourned."

Tsunade stomped out of the council room in quiet fury. Shizune, who had been seated down the hall, heard everything and followed behind her. Tsunade could hardly believe it, except she damn well could believe it. They knew she wasn't going to get knocked up by some power-seeking prick; Danzo was right, the entire thing was a farce.

* * *

 **(Namikaze Household)**

"Well, that could have gone worse," Minato said when he arrived home with his wife fifteen minutes later.

"Sure, she could have gone on a murder spree," Kushina replied dryly. "Oh what are we going to do, Minato? I hate to see Tsunade like this, she might hurt herself if anything more is taken from her…"

Minato embraced his wife. While rubbing her back to try and soothe her, he said, "I don't know. This was the most I could do legally. I understand why my predecessor implemented the law, but it clashes so much with Tsunade's personal values that she can't help but find it degrading."

The two proceeded to sit on their couch in silence, before Kushina sat up quickly. She tapped her chin before looking at Minato with a nervous expression.

"I know that look. What did you come up with?" Minato asked, smirking.

"Well, it's crazy but it might just work. I can't believe I'm even considering this though, I haven't even….," she trailed off, staring into space with a look of doubt on her face.

"Well spit it out," Minato said impatiently. "Though if you're about to suggest we tell her to have Jiraiya-sensei's child, well, then she might actually kill us…"

Kushina shook her head rapidly and a bright red blush appeared in her face. She muttered, "'Course not. I was thinking she could, possibly, maybe… have your kid, ya know?"

Minato stared at his wife like she'd grown another head. "Wha- Why- What kind of idea is that? A Hokage shouldn't sleep around, and I'm definitely not that kind of guy!" he said in embarrassment.

"That's not what I meant! Like I'd let you sleep with another woman..." Kushina replied in frustration. "She could do - what do they call it? - oh, artificial insemination."

"Is that any better?" Minato asked in total confusion. "I want to have a child with you. I feel sorry for Tsunade, awful really. But having a child with her…"

Kushina leaned against him. "It's not like I'm totally in love with the idea. But she's family, and she helped so much when I first moved to Konoha." She sat up and looked at Minato seriously. "You didn't know her back then. When Dan died, it was awful. She put all her hopes in him and without him she stopped caring about almost anything else. She needs something to hold onto and give her meaning again."

Minato groaned in annoyance, before saying, "Fiiiine, but you have to be the one to tell her. I don't fancy your chances. Just saying."

Kushina gave him a powerful hug and said, "I can't believe I'm saying this - I really can't - but you'll be a wonderful father to her child. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm actually pregnant this time so it's double the fun!"

Minato raised an eyebrow. "Haven't you been saying that for two years? I'm starting to think those rituals we tried are having the opposite effect."

Undeterred, Kushina said, "It's different this time, I can feel it." She tapped her belly. "Definitely preggers."

* * *

Tsunade had wanted to get wasted at that new bar, but she felt too numb after that charade of an ultimatum.

Instead, she had gone to Dan's old home. It was a small apartment just outside the Aburame District. The Kato family weren't a ninja clan, and thus had no district to call their own like the major clans of Konoha. Tsunade had a house cleaning service take care of the place while she was away from the village, not because she planned to return very often (preferably never), but she couldn't bear to part with Dan's remaining possessions. It would make his death too final, too definite.

She picked up a photo of she and Dan taken twenty years prior during the Second Shinobi World War. She still wore the blue overcoat she had back then in the photo as she had stood next to the beaming Dan. Her then-hopeful look had long since vanished from her repertoire of facial expressions.

"Oh Dan, there's just nothing I can do…" she cried, tears falling onto the glass of the frame holding the photo.

There was a hard knocking on the door. Assuming it to be Shizune returning with alcohol, Tsunade walked to the door without bothering to wipe her tears.

"Nez time just leave the drinks on the doorstep Shizu- Kushina?" she said in surprise. She quickly wiped her face; she hated looking pathetic in front of Kushina.

The redhead smiled, if nervously. "I thought I'd find you here. Walk with me?"

A few minutes later, Tsunade joined up with her second-cousin as they walked the streets of Konoha side-by-side. It was comforting, the only time she felt such while back home. The two had tried to keep somewhat in touch via letters, though with the way Tsunade moved around replies took time. Whatever Kushina wanted to say, she seemed averse to just saying it if the passing time was any indication.

"Have you spoken to Jiraiya-sama lately?" Kushina asked conversationally.

Humoring her, Tsunade replied, "I may have run into him a few months back. He has a sixth-sense for my hot springs schedule. I tossed him pretty far this time, so I doubt he's picked up my trail just yet."

Kushina giggled. "I've missed you so much, Tsunade. We need more strong women in the village. Even in the Academy many girls are content with setting their life's goal as finding a man to settle down with. It's a little depressing when we're supposed to be training them to be elite soldiers."

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? You married your old school crush and let him become Hokage instead, didn't you?" Tsunade teased.

Kushina glared at her for the accusation. "I'll have you know I had other aspirations besides getting married and having kids. Besides, Minato only beat me for Hokage because we played poker to settle it after the Third War. He has unnatural luck at gambling, I swear."

Despite the fun back and forth, Tsunade got to the heart of the matter. "What did you really wish to talk about, Kushina?"

Kushina gulped. Tsunade preferred straight shooting, direct honesty, even when it was annoying. But being brutally honest might not be good for the structurally integrity of the nearby buildings.

"I, er, came up with an idea to stop the Council from having their way," Kushina said, throwing caution to the wind like a true Uzumaki would.

Her interest piqued, Tsunade gestured for her to continue.

"I was thinking that… ah hell, you can have a child with Minato. As the Hokage there's no way an heir from him could be deemed unsuitable. It's how I got them to allow me to reinstate the Uzumaki as a village clan," Kushina said quickly, though she couldn't hide her flustered face.

After a few seconds silence, Tsunade began to genuinely laugh. "You… want me… to sleep with your husband? Okay, you've always thought outside the box but you've got to be kidding. Was this some scheme Minato roped you into because if so he's got another thing com-"

Kushina stopped and put her hands on both of Tsunade's shoulders. "I didn't mean you'd sleep together. Artificial insemination is as much as I'd be okay with."

Looking at her seriously, Tsunade said, "Kushina… why?"

Smiling gently, she replied, "Tsuna, you were my first friend here after Mito-sama requested I move to Konoha. You never let my existence as a Jinchūriki affect how you treated me. I can't stand here and let Danzo ruin what little you have left. If it means some… awkwardness then I'll take it. At least that way you can avoid being branded a missing-nin and maybe take some happiness back for yourself."

Tsunade was silent. It was almost too absurd to consider seriously, yet she was doing just that because of how passionate Kushina was. Tsunade had nothing against motherhood, but Dan had been the one man she had wanted to have a child with. Naturally, a world war had gotten in the way of that. Being all but forced to do so by the Council nearly had her reject the offer on the spot. But she couldn't help but briefly imagine herself holding a baby of her own…

In the days to come, Kushina found time and excuses to hang out with Tsunade and Shizune, and drop not-so-subtle hints that she had an option available. The grocery store, the movies, even to get hammered at the bar one night, resulting in an incident between the two women that was probably scandalous and embarrassing - if the pink lipstick Kushina had on her cheek was any indication - but which the ever-sober Shizune refused to elaborate on for fear of what the two hot tempered women would do if word got out.

A week later she was again walking with Kushina, who had been complaining that she and Minato were using clones to handle some of their work duties so they could make extra time to have a kid.

"You're not going to leave me alone about this, are you?" Tsunade asked tiredly.

Kushina's eyes lit up, realizing her week of skillful negotiation was wearing Tsunade down. "Tsuna, does that mean…?"

"Yes yes, fine. Just don't get all mushy and-"

Kushina grabbed her hand and started spinning the both of them around in circles out of pure joy. The citizens made a wide berth around them without much fuss, evidently used to the overly excited tendencies of the Hokage's wife.

"Oh just you wait. We'll both be pregnant at the same time. We'll need to be strong for each other because let's face it, Minato can't understand what this will be like. Ohhhh, I bet we'll have the same due date."

"Hah, there's a bet I can win. Even I can't lose a gamble like that," Tsunade said confidently.

"You're on," Kushina said equally sure of herself.

* * *

 **(6 Months Later, August)**

Six months into the pregnancy, Tsunade was showing quite a bit, much to her annoyance. She had long become accustomed to her excellent figure and good health. Thanks to a moments weakness she now had to deal with annoying cramps and swollen ankles as common companions, and the even greater swell of her breasts made her feel a bit ridiculous. Worse than all of that was not being able to drink anymore. Minato almost never appeared before her without the equally pregnant Kushina as a buffer. Smart man, that one.

When Tsunade appeared before them months back with proof of her compliance with the law, the council had been outraged. None of the clan heads had agreed to an arrangement with her and thus assumed she'd tried to trick them by having a child with some random man.

However, the Elders were forced to announce that the child's father was suitable but under wraps, as they had agreed to be sworn to secrecy regarding the man's identity by the Third Hokage. Not that village leaders having children by multiple women was an uncommon practice in the world, but Konoha (not least of which Minato) did not wish to start a rumor mill that their Hokage was unfaithful to his own wife, no matter what the actual circumstances of Tsunade bearing one of his children were.

Minato had found the ordeal more than a little awkward, even before the operation. He had sat with Tsunade beforehand and they came to an amicable agreement. There was nothing between them (Minato's childhood crush on Tsunade aside), but he wanted to be in his child's life. Tsunade agreed to carry one of his Thunder God kunai to make visitation easier. Instantaneous teleportation was always useful. Conversely, Tsunade required Minato agree not to try and force her to stay until their child was old enough to pick for themself where they wanted to live. Tsunade had given Kushina permission to use the partly dilapidated Senju District and reform it as the Uzumaki Clan district. Minato's ANBU had only managed to find a few of their scattered clansmen thus far from a list of members Kushina remembered, but it was welcome to see extended family nonetheless.

Thanks to her custom Transformation Technique, Tsunade's pregnancy was unknown outside the Shinobi Council. But as time went on, she couldn't move about in public too much without arousing strange looks when she would rub her stomach or massage her ankles. Eventually she began sending out Wood Clones to make her public appearances and fetch what she needed to prepare for the baby and to assist her around the house when Shizune was on missions.

"And here I thought Minato was having me for a laugh. You really are pregnant Tsunade," came a voice she hoped she'd avoid for a few more years.

Looking through her open window, Tsunade said brusquely, "What are you doing here, Jiraiya?"

Putting his hands up in surrender, Jiraiya said, "Hey, just an old friend coming by to congratulate you. I never thought I'd see the day." Usually his huge grin would annoy her - he wore his pervertedness as a badge of honor - but it was a rare occasion where she shared in it.

Tsunade knew her fellow Sannin once had feelings for her, but had gotten the memo once she'd gotten together with Dan. In spite of it all, they'd retained their friendship.

"Well now you've seen me swelled up like the most annoying balloon in the world. Anything else?" she said testily.

"You thought of a name for him or her?" he asked curiously.

"I'm having a boy. And no, I haven't decided on anything. Nothing seems quite right yet," she said, dissatisfied with the more popular baby names she'd read about. Frankly, 'Tatsuya Senju' sounded stupid.

Jiraiya pulled out a book that looked familiar to Tsunade, though she couldn't recall how long it had been since she'd seen it. And frankly, the less she thought about Jiraiya's frustratingly popular smut novels the better they'd get along. The first installment had a thinly veiled reference to her and her 'twin peaks of heaven'.

Jiraiya held up the book and smiled warmly at Tsunade. "Maybe name him after the protagonist of this old book of mine. Goodness, it'd be the most good this book has done despite my high expectations for it back in the day," he said wistfully.

Tsunade crossed her arms. "I'm not naming my boy after some… some lothario from that porn masquerading as literature. I try not to court bad luck."

"Easy there tiger. This isn't like my masterpiece, the _Icha Icha_ series," Jiraiya boasted. He smiled widely and said, "No, this was the first book I ever published. It represents my Nindo, everything I believe in and my dreams for for the future. Don't decide now, just give it a chance. Please?"

"Alright alright, you know I hate it when you let your idealism show," she said happily. Jiraiya could annoy the hell out of her, but Tsunade knew he was fundamentally a good person. Besides the whole peeking on unsuspecting women thing. No, that was probably going to land him in hell.

"Have you given any thought to how long you'll be staying in the village?" Jiraiya pressed her. "It's dangerous out there, much more so with a child in tow. Even for you, Tsunade. Bandits and demons aside, anyone gunning for you will know just how to put you on the defensive."

Tsunade refrained from responding with snark. Even if she felt he was using her son as a means to pin her down, he wasn't mistaken.

"You know how I feel about this place. I won't be able to up and leave with my boy immediately," she began slowly. After a brief pause, she spoke firmly. "But the moment I have an inkling my son isn't safe here we're packing up."

"Tsunade, nowhere you go can offer absolute protection. A hidden village, especially your home village, is the most-" Jiraiya started.

Tsunade slammed her fist onto the bedside table, splitting it in half. Pregnant or not, Tsunade wasn't known as the strongest woman on the planet for nothing. "Don't patronize me Jiraiya. I know the situation. But you can be damn sure that if I have to pick between my boy's safety and loyalty to my village he'll win every time and I'll never apologize for it. Maybe the situation will change and I'll have to return. Maybe he'll beg me to take him back to see his father and brother. But that's where I stand and nothing you say will budge me on this. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," he said, knowing anything further on that front was pointless. "Be sure to read my book."

After Jiraiya left, Tsunade grabbed the book he'd asked her to read. "Legend of the Utterly Gutsy Ninja".

* * *

 **(2 More Months Later, October 10th, Undisclosed Location Outside Konoha)**

"You did this to me. YOU DID THIS MINATO!" Tsunade yelled. Having nearly crushed the man's hand as he tried to comfort her, he ran to the other side of the room to see his wife, who was in labor too on the other side of a blue curtain. Just Tsunade's luck, she needed to swear off the words "I bet".

Upon reflection, Tsunade figured getting pregnant was a terrible mistake. She'd been in labor for hours, how many she didn't know. Her hips hurt like a bitch, what with pushing out what might as well be a grapefruit. If she ever developed a Sex Change Jutsu, Minato was getting to experience the Nine Months of Hell. Revenge was good sometimes.

"Tough it out. I had five children, and you Tsunade are having just one measly kid," Biwako Sarutobi said sternly. "You two are supposed to be some of the toughest kunoichi around, honestly…"

"You crusty bitch, don't patronize me," Tsunade shouted. "I know where you live!"

Ignoring her, Biwako moved to Kushina. The ANBU medic assisting Kushina, Taji, said, "Kushina-sama, you're nearly there! Just one more push. One-two-three, push!"

Tsunade was jealous that Kushina was already finishing, whereas her son was showing his stubbornness from the get-go. She'd barely made any progress. Oh Kushina had screamed her head off as well, but Tsunade had less to show for it besides the crumpled metal arms of her hospital bed she had grabbed. She had caved and accepted the painkillers. Her own grandmother, Mito Uzumaki, had foregone them when she gave birth to Tsunade's father so Tsunade had wanted to see if she could be as tough. It was a stupid idea, what the hell had she been thinking?

Suddenly, Tsunade heard her two female voices scream from the other side of the curtain despite the loud cries of Kushina's newborn. One was definitely Biwako.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Tsunade heard Minato shout.

"Give us Menma back now!" Kushina screamed.

Ignoring the crying infant, an unknown person spoke in a deep, menacing voice, "Minato Namikaze, step away from that Jinchūriki. Otherwise your son will have an exceedingly short life."

"J-Just stop. Whatever your issue is we can resolve this without using a baby as a-" he began.

Tsunade couldn't see what was going on, and the medic assisting her was trying to ignore events unfolding just twenty feet away to help her give birth; Tsunade was obviously unfit to join in. However the cries of the infant disappeared, leaving an eerie silence in his place.

"That man's Flying Thunder God Technique… I wonder if he managed to get the Exploding Tags off his child in time?" mused the man. "Jinchūriki, you will be the first to herald a new age."

"Biwako, Taji, if you're alive please help Ts-her," Kushina yelled, narrowly keeping secret who was nearby.

A moment later, Tsunade could hear nothing from the other side of the curtain.

Tsunade swatted her doctor. "What happened over there?"

The woman tentatively opened the curtain, showing only Taji and Biwako there upon the ground. Biwako's throat had been slit, but Taji somehow managed to avoid a fatal injury even if her shoulder was bleeding considerably.

Taji commanded her fellow medic to continue assisting Tsunade while she sent an emergency message to the village using the secure radio network that allowed long-distance communication with the village.

Kushina had been taken by a masked assailant.

* * *

Kushina had been tied between two rocks over a small pond with a strange binding technique. Whoever this masked man was, he had some type of Space-time Ninjutsu, just like Minato. He was currently doing something to the seal on her abdomen that kept the Nine-Tailed Fox sealed within her.

"What are you doing, freak?" Kushina asked, exhausted from having just given birth. "Failed to kill a newborn so now you're going for his mother?"

"Hush, you aren't important Jinchūriki, just what you carry," he replied as he finished analyzing how her seal functioned. The man went through a series of hand signs and touched the seal array in her abdomen.

Kushina felt as if her entire body had been engulfed in flame. It was the Nine-Tails' chakra. The pain of it suddenly appearing nearly knocked her out. She'd drawn it's power before, but this… this felt like it was being torn from her. It couldn't be…

"There is the prize I seek," the masked man announced triumphantly.

Kushina screamed even louder than she had during her delivery. Nothing could compare to this. It felt as if her very essence was being removed from her. She knew what was happening, and it would kill her. The demon's crimson chakra bubbled out of her seal into the plain in front of her. As it left, it began coalescing into the definite shape of the Nine-Tailed Fox, though it initially was nothing more than a semi-transparent outline of the beast, as the chakra escaped at a faster pace the mountainous behemoth began taking on a more substantive form. The skeleton and muscles came into being as the sixth tail left, soon followed by the flesh and fur that befit its species once eight tails had come undone. But as the ninth and final tail began to leak out of her seal, Kushina managed to make a quick hand sign to activate her Kekkei Genkai.

 _Adamantine Sealing Chains!_

The chains she created from her own chakra wrapped around the receding tail of Nine-Tails chakra and pulled it back within her seal. She knew that if she failed her death was inevitable, and she refused to leave Menma and Minato behind. Using every ounce of her willpower and then some, she screamed out as the chakra chains managed to constrict the final tail and break it off from the developing Nine-Tails. She'd no longer be a true Jinchūriki, but that was hardly important at this point. She would live.

The masked man was shocked, but quickly recovered. "You impress me Jinchūriki. I didn't think you could use your chakra in such a state, but you Uzumaki always were a tenacious bunch. Alas, it matters little," he said dramatically. He turned to the Nine-Tails and activated the Mangekyo Sharingan of his left eye, visible through the single eye hole of his orange mask. "As I told you in the past, Fox. You Tailed Beasts are nothing but slaves to those of us with the Blessed Eyes."

Though barely conscious, Kushina was terrified as she saw the three tomoe of the Sharingan appear in the eyes of the Nine-Tails. Just like in the stories of how Madara Uchiha could do…

"Farwell, Jinchūriki. You severed one tail, but that will only buy your village maybe an hour of safety before it regenerates. Time you shall not share in."

On his command, the mountain-sized beast raised its claw and slammed it down on Kushina's location, sending tremors throughout the area... only for Kushina to appear in the treetops nearby in the arms of her husband.

"Don't worry, I'll get you to safety," Minato reassured her. After glaring at the masked man, Minato teleported away.

* * *

 **(One Hour Later)**

All the excitement had somehow managed to convince Tsunade's son that now was the time to be born. Tsunade was getting over her irritation with the whole thing, however.

Her baby was rather cute, after all. His hair looked like it would resemble Minato's in texture, but it looked closer to her dimmer blonde than Minato's bright hair.

"Hello Naruto. It's me, kaa-san," she whispered quietly.

The baby yawned at that moment, causing Tsunade to swoon a bit. Ignoring the would-be baby-killer, this motherhood thing might have some good in it after all.

Minato had returned not long ago and teleported those at the hidden base over to the Konoha Hospital. After quickly briefing her of the situation, he teleported away to prepare the village from the coming attack Kushina told him of. Kushina had been rendered unconscious and barely alive herself.

Tsunade knew one thing. As soon as all this was over she was leaving Konoha as soon as her son was a little bigger. She knew she'd have to come back eventually. It was all that would keep the Council from chasing her to the ends of the earth as a missing-nin. But a short reprieve from this madness was needed. But that was to come later. From Minato's report, they only had a short time before the Nine-Tailed Fox would be set upon Konoha. Using large amounts of chakra right after childbirth could be dangerous as the mother's chakra network had been trained to siphon off some of their chakra to the baby for months. She'd been cynical towards 'heroes' for decades, but she'd be damned if she let someone hurt her baby.

Tsunade had her son handed over to one of the medic-nin keeping an eye on her and began molding some chakra in preparation. She wouldn't have much to give but she needed to put everything she had on the line.

* * *

Minato had encountered opponents of great power numerous times, especially during the Third Shinobi World War. He'd faced off with the future Fourth Raikage and his Jinchūriki blood brother at the same time and still came out on top.

But this masked man was giving him trouble. Perhaps for the first time, he saw how terrifying others could find a robust Space-time Technique such as his own. The man could teleport to different locations without even needed to tag them first like Minato did. At one point he even warped away a high-level Fire technique Minato sent at him. His opponent was an Uchiha, that much was clear from the Genjutsu he used to control the Nine-Tails. But his skill level exceeded that of the Kage-level, a level Minato had never gone toe-to-toe with another at.

 _Wind Release: Vacuum Spheres!_

Minato fired dozens of compressed air bullets at the man, knowing they'd pass through him as his other attacks had.

 _So he can selectively become intangible,_ Minato thought. _Despite my attacks occurring at various areas at rapid speeds, his feet remained solidly on the ground. But that must take up a lot of chakra or else have some sort of limit. After all, he is insistent on making physical contact with me, so his absorption Space-time jutsu doesn't have much range to it._

"I expected more from a man of your repute," the man said from atop a cluster of rocks, looking down at Minato. "To think this is all the much vaunted Fourth Hokage has to offer."

Pretending to take the bait, Minato cast another technique with a single hand sign. _Earth Release: Terran Encasing!_ The technique, while simple, caused the ground beneath an opponent to open up and encase their legs within cinder block shaped rock, preventing escape.

Minato then reached into his pouch and pulled out one of his Thunder God kunai. "Are you Madara Uchiha?" he asked. There were precious few Uchiha in history with the both the skill and motivation to pull this off. Madara, impossible as it seemed, was the obvious starting point.

The masked man chuckled as if in on some great joke. "Who's to say? You could say I'm just a man who seeks peace through war, and thereby the salvation of this world. Clichéd though it may be, we're not so different. The people of the Land of Fire think you a savior, do they not?"

Ignoring him, Minato knew he had to kill him quickly while the Third kept the Nine-Tails in check. It wasn't just the Flying Thunder God that gave Minato his nickname, as he proved by nearly moving faster than the man's Sharingan could predict. But despite this, Minato's attack somehow failed; his Thunder God kunai met empty air, almost like the foe was a ghost.

He found himself ensnared in the chains the man used as a weapon, but teleported out. The two turned to face each other. A long fight suited neither of them, most especially Minato's opponent. He was controlling the Nine-Tails and using his Sharingan's unique abilities repeatedly.

 _I'm going to have to take it up a notch or he'll hold me up too long_ , Minato thought. Although he'd technically mastered it, he could only use the technique once a day. Despite its requirement of balance with the mind and body, the technique was very burdensome on the body.

Minato closed his eyes, so the masked man attempted to take advantage of the reprieve to end the fight. He sped at Minato, only needing to touch him in order to warp him to his personal pocket dimension. Yet the instant he would have touched him, Minato's eyes opened revealing yellow irises with bar-like pupils and an orange pattern on his eyelids.

 _Sage Mode!_

Minato's speed had increased even more, to the extent the masked man couldn't see him for more than a split second at a time. Using the Frog Kata style, Minato's attacks started to land finally thanks to the invisible aura of natural energy that surrounded sages. He tested him with several punches aimed at the head, forcing the man to make that body part intangible. His attention diverted to protecting his head, Minato's enhanced abilities allowed him to nail the man in the gut with a powerful palm strike that sent him careening through a tree on the edge of the destroyed clearing they were fighting in.

And that strike was all Minato needed to apply a two crucial seals.

The masked man stood up and coughed up a bit of blood. He'd heard of Sage Mode before, but he wasn't prepared for an increase of this magnitude. Physically, he was completely outmatched, especially as there seemed to be an attack the Hokage was using that even his Mangekyo couldn't see. But with him being a sensor-type, he should be able to keep up and time it to warp the man away.

"I take back my earlier remarks. You are well-named the Fourth Hokage. Despite your reputation, I truly did not expect such a challenge, much less for you to quickly wrest away the Nine-Tails with a Contract Seal. However, my job was simply to hold you up while the Demon Fox crippled or destroyed your village, whether under my control or not. Tick-tock…"

Using the first seal he placed on the man's stomach, Minato teleported to the man with a large Rasengan in hand and delivered it right into the man's chest.

"What the…" the masked man began, realizing in shock that he'd been marked.

The Rasengan tore into the man's chest, and sent him flying backwards through the trees before a large explosion followed. Minato quickly raced to the area to ensure the man had died. He found no trace of him, and upon attempting to teleport to the seal in the man's stomach, he got no response. His own attack had destroyed the seal. He could only pray the man had died, his village needed him.

* * *

Hiruzen was having a shitty day. His wife had been killed, his village attacked by the strongest demon known to man and he was damn near out of chakra after fighting the beast for twenty minutes. Even with the assistance of the village's top shinobi, this was a losing battle. They'd managed to push the Fox out of the village, but they were doing little damage to it.

"Look, it's Tsunade-sama!" one of his ANBU shouted.

And sure enough there Tsunade was, racing towards the Nine-Tails… with three other Tsunade running along behind her. Hiruzen wasn't sure how it was possible, as she'd just given birth. But with a Tailed Beast on the loose, she was their best bet for victory.

"We're just Wood Clones, sensei," one of the Tsunades said as she reached him. "We have just enough chakra among us to construct a Wood Dragon."

Hiruzen nodded. "And what of your original?"

"Passed out. She had just enough to make five of us- one to protect Naruto and the four of us to assist."

The Nine-Tails had gotten annoyed with the constant barrage of attacks by the worthless shinobi peppering it with jutsu to keep it distracted. It began to gather Yin and Yang Release chakra into a large, dense ball of black chakra.

Seeing this, the four Tsunade Wood Clones finished their hand signs and ended with their hands clasped together.

 _Wood Release: Wood Dragon Jutsu!_

Although not as powerful as the real Tsunade's, the clones had managed to create wood dragon half the size of the titanic Nine-Tails. The massive construct wound its way around the beast, constricting it as it began draining its chakra to interrupt its Tailed Beast Bomb. The Fox was obviously familiar with the technique, as it ended it's attack and quickly crushed the head of the dragon, causing it to fall to the ground with a loud crash. Rather than wasting time with another huge attack, it created a smaller Beast Bomb and fire it at the Tsunades and Hiruzen.

A glimmering, semi-transparent barrier appeared in front of the attack, which disappeared the moment it touched the barrier. The beast began looking for the source of the jutsu when it was hit in the face by a gigantic toad.

"It's the Fourth Hokage!" another shinobi called out.

As the Tsunades began to breakdown due to running out of chakra, one said, "It's about damn time he showed."

"Bunta, hold him down!" Minato shouted. He jumped off his toad summon and onto the Nine-Tails, and began to gather the chakra he'd need to teleport the whole beast away.

Minato quickly realized he wasn't going to win outright at this point. The masked man had accomplished his goal to a degree; once free, the Nine-Tails continued its assault out of a desire for revenge. Minato had used up a large amount of chakra before the fight by warping away multiple Tailed Beast Bombs, and then the fight with Madara himself. He wasn't skilled enough with Sage Mode to use it properly, it sapped his stamina immensely.

Which left him with a dilemma. Kushina's body couldn't handle having the entire Nine-Tails being reimplanted so soon after giving birth, having the beast removed and then reintegrating one of its tails within the span of a few minutes. And the only Fuinjutsu he possessed capable of sealing the demon would split it in half, severing it's Yin half from its Yang half, so he couldn't eliminate the Fox with the Dead Demon Seal.

Minato didn't believe in destiny, but he realized he had been given two sons and on the same day no less. He knew on some level both women would always hate what he was about to do and rightly so, but he couldn't see an alternative that didn't lead to more needless deaths or even wars from villages who would attack a Konoha that lacked a Jinchūriki.

After using a pair of Shadow Clones, Minato set down his two sons before him. Tsunade's remaining Wood Clone had been holding Naruto, but had bought his lie of needing to move him elsewhere to safety. It was terrible, but he had just enough chakra to salvage something out of the situation.

Menma possessed his mother's trademark Uzumaki red-hair, the exact shade Minato loved. He couldn't be sure yet, but Minato hoped he'd at least retain Minato's blue eyes. Oddly enough, he bore three whisker-like birthmarks on both cheeks.

Naruto had blonde hair which was looked like the blonde of Tsunade's hair with his own messy, spiky hair. He was glad to see his eyes looked to be similar to his own. Despite the odd circumstances of the boys coming to be, Minato knew he'd have loved him just the same.

"Menma, Naruto. Maybe you'll hate me for this, and you probably should. But it's the best I could do," Minato said somberly. "Its up to the both of you to do what I couldn't. Trust each other and you can overcome anything. I love you..."

Minato was glad he could at least die with a smile.

* * *

 **(A/N):** Well that was fun to write. Maybe the setup won't be believable to some. I mean… it's pretty damn weird thing to offer another woman. But you know what, I'm running with it so don't piss and moan unless you see a serious issue. If anyone is interested in making some custom fan art for this, preferably featuring Kushina and Tsunade with their sons I'd be super interested in that. Menma looks like the imagined redhead Naruto when he met Kushina, if you need an image. Naruto is just himself minus the whisker marks.

 **Review** and **Follow** if you enjoyed this and wish to see more! Those motivate me to keep going~

While I have the story outlined, the main antagonist isn't exactly clear to me yet. While yes Akatsuki exists much like canon, I've been toying around with an idea for a larger antagonist group that the Elemental Nations have to confront. Possible AU after the Chunin Exams arc (especially since the Uchiha are handled differently in this story). It won't come out of nowhere because I have a pretty rough idea of who I want to use, but the details will crystallize more as time goes on.

The differences you see are because this is an AU or else because I changed something to sound better in English (like the exact name of Jiraiya's first book). Please just roll with these unless you really can't understand why I changed something. This story is mostly mapped out, will contain some characters from other series occasionally and will build up some things in the background that will let me transition to a crossover. A fair amount of politics ahead, though not dragged on. Later~


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